by Bonnie Collings
They say you know when you've found "the one." For Neil and Janet McConville, they knew from the beginning they would spend the rest of their lives together.
Neil and Janet renewed their wedding vows on Friday at Andrews House in Trafalgar, after 45 years as a couple and 43 years of marriage.
Navigating all of life's ups and downs together, including the challenges that come with disability and Neil moving into aged care, Neil and Janet's love for each other has only grown stronger.
I spoke to the happy couple last Wednesday ahead of the celebration.
"We're renewing our vows, because after 45 years, the other ones got rusted!" Neil said.
The idea for the vow renewal service was born out of a conversation with Andrews House lifestyle coordinator Merita Rawlyk.
"It's all down to Merita at Andrews House." Janet said. "She asked me if I'd like to renew my vows, so I went around to Neil's room and asked, 'would you like to marry me again?' and his face beamed!"
Neil and Janet's love story began at a party in England while Neil was working abroad.
"I'd been studying until I was about 26 and I qualified as a chartered accountant," Neil said. "I had some holiday money, and I thought I'd go somewhere they speak English, so I bought a one-way ticket to England."
"I met an Australian girl who was temping with me at work," Janet said. "I got friendly with her and she invited me to a party and they were all Australians. I walked in and Neil was sitting on the floor, and we got talking."
For about a year after that, Neil and Janet would spend every party talking.
After not seeing each other for a few months, the pair were reunited at a new year's eve party.
"Neil came over and asked, 'do you like quiche?'," Janet said. "He said, 'I make my own quiche and I even make my own pastry. If you come home with me, we can have it for lunch.' So I did!"
Within a few months, Janet and Neil moved in together and the rest was history. The couple married at a registry office in Essex in 1981 and they moved to Australia three months later.
Neil and Janet have three children, two sons and a daughter and six grandchildren.
The couple moved to their Yarragon home 11 years ago after many years living in Melbourne's eastern suburbs.
When asked their secret to a long and happy marriage, Neil and Janet agreed the trick is good communication.
"We just talked through all our problems, that's our secret," Neil said.
"If we disagree, we do listen to each other," Janet added. "We don't hold on to things, we try not to go to bed angry."
As Neil put it, the couple have had their "fair share of problems to talk through."
When Neil was 18, a cancerous tumour was found on his spine. After a six-hour surgery and radiation treatment to remove it, Neil was told the damage to his nerves would have him wheelchair bound by age 40.
When he told Janet she said "when you love somebody, you don't let that get in your way."
Neil was 73 when he entered aged care, a transition that he and Janet described as a "huge grieving process."
"I was down in Pakenham at the start, and it was just too far away," Neil said.
Last December, the couple faced the issue of Neil not being home for Christmas.
"I asked to bring him home and borrow a lifting machine, and they said it would be dangerous," Janet said. "I sat here and cried."
This triggered Janet to look into availability at local aged care facilities.
"As soon as I went to Andrews House, it was so comforting," Janet said. "Neil and I have both worked in aged care, so we both know what it should be, and they are (that) and even more so."
"Because he's (at Andrews House), it means I can bring Neil home or we can go out to familiar places."
With their trusty car and the proximity of Andrews House to their home in Yarragon, Neil and Janet can keep making memories together.
"Even though Neil can't stand anymore and I can't lift him, it's enabled us to do so many things," Janet said. "It's made our life as normal as it can be."
Thanks to the staff and community at Andrews House, Neil and Janet's vow renewal service turned into a sort of second wedding.
Providing a wedding cake, celebrant, decorations, music and meals, Janet said the staff were fantastic in organising the event.
Residents at Andrews House have also got involved in the event, helping to decorate the ceremony space.
"It's a real buzz for Andrews House," Janet said. "A lot of the staff, even some that aren't working on the day are coming. It's an Andrews House extravaganza really!"
"That's the beauty about it, no one is excluded," Neil added.
Janet and Neil picked Lionel Ritchie and Diana Ross' "Endless Love" as their entrance music. The song was written the year the couple were married.
Wearing a skirt suit at their 1981 wedding, Janet decided to take a chance at "saying yes to the dress" for the vow renewal ceremony.
"A few of the girls at Andrews House and my daughter-in-law said 'Janet, go for it', so I did!" Janet said.
As if it were meant to be, Janet found her dress right away.
"I looked at the traditional dresses and I thought no they're not right, and then a friend pointed this dress out to me," Janet said. "I tried it on, and it was a perfect fit!"
Looking back on their many years together and the challenges they've faced along the way, Neil and Janet said they're looking forward to their new chapter of life and the memories that come with it.
"Our life now, it's (about) the small things, but it's precious because we're both still here to do that," Janet said.